Liking Yourself | Critical for Success

by Jayne Kopp on March 29, 2011

liking yourself, critical for success

Liking yourself is critical for success. Let’s face it; if you don’t like yourself, it’s difficult to put out the right vibration in order for others to like you as well.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou

If you are always feeling down, it’s a huge blow to your self confidence and self esteem and these act as roadblocks and get in the way of any future success, basically because you don’t have the energy, drive & motivation because in essence, you don’t feel worthy.

It seems a little crazy really; after all you spend every second of your life with you! One would think that since ‘we’ hang out together, that we would be comfortable in our own skin!

The truth is though that none of us are completely satisfied with everything about us and have to continually work on it.

If some of our personal traits get us down, it’s time to get to work and realize there are things we can do to improve our ‘own’ relationship with who we are. More often than not we are very hard on ourselves and need to lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously.

In order to change your personal perspective, it is important to pinpoint what it is you don’t like about yourself and get very clear.

*It may be something that has happened in your past. It could have been something someone said to you that really weighed heavy on your shoulders that you eventually started to ‘own’ and believe.

* Perhaps you had a disagreement with someone and acted in appropriately; now you live with the guilt.

*You may not like the way you look and you’re furious at your inability to change it..

Whatever it is I would like to suggest you make a list and then try to determine what you can do to put things right. Remember to be blatantly honest and remember this list is between you… and you and is for your eyes only so let it all out! :-)

If the reason you don’t like yourself is based on past guilt, it is important to accept that the past really is the past and you cannot allow it to anchor you in such a way you can’t enjoy the present… or more importantly remain stagnant so you can’t move forward.

Often disagreements can be remedied by apologizing. As much as this takes courage, the benefits can far outweigh the ball and chain.

If the issue is caused by something someone said to you, or perhaps a childhood scar that you took to heart, make note and then test the validity. Sometimes analyzing and thinking about it can help you see the weakness of the statement.

If the issue is based on how you look, (too heavy, too skinny, poor complexion, etc.), these are things you will need to love yourself for… and realize that people rarely see what you see and additionally wouldn’t care even if they did!

Regardless of what it your reasons for not liking yourself may be, if you really want to move forward, feel happier and get more out of life, you need to examine the root causes as it’s critical for success.

Low self esteem is often the crux of why you find it difficult to like yourself and your list will bring the reasons to the surface to help you resolve it.

The next exercise would be to counter all of those points with the many positives you possess, yet rarely (if ever) take the time to acknowledge

Be sure to accept credit where credit is due for your positives. I.e.: you are kind and giving, mean well, helpful, or have special talents, etc.

It is also helpful to think about the people who love you: Your parents, friends, partner, children or even the family dog! ;-)

Always have an open heart and if the issue is stemmed from a past relationship or friendship where you have been hurt, be sure to acknowledge the event, and exercise forgiveness.

If you are riddled with guilt, face what you did and determine how to resolve it. More often than not it’s a mistake you made that an apology may solve or taking it up with your maker!

Forgive yourself for past mistakes, everybody makes them and drops a “clanger” in life occasionally!. You have to move on from it and make every effort to not have a repeat performance!

If someone else is involved, do your best to make amends. If this isn’t accepted by the other party, you simply must acknowledge the fact that you can’t control others but you have done the best you could do. Accept this and move on.

Other effective ways to learn to like yourself are:

  • Compliment others and act in kindness. You will feel good about doing so and likely receive compliments back in appreciation, which also raise your self worth.
  • Do your best to always be honest and to live right.
  • If there is something you do, that you feel is wrong, stop it.


  • Making changes to your lifestyle and working on your shortfalls will help erase guilt and put a stop to anything that nags you.
  • Make amends for anything you have done in the past, extend an apology (I already said that), but forgiveness is huge.
  • Ask your friends what they like about you. Ask them to be very honest and tell them why you are asking! There is obviously a reason they have selected you as a friend and their answers might put a real feather in your cap.
  • Visualize the ‘ideal you’ and spend time focusing on how you would like to be opposed to how you feel you are. Do this often, (at least twice per day) and work towards it.
  • Act as if you already felt differently and soon you will see an irreversible transformation! (It works!)

Anything you do for 30 days becomes habit and is a great exercise based on the Law of the Perpetual Transmutation of Energy!

Realize that more often than not your feelings may stem from childhood programming and while this is something that is likely engrained in you, it is of paramount importance to get to the bottom of it, and then let it go. There is much more to you and more life to live.

Be aware that many of the things you think about are things that nobody else would ever think about you too.

The fact is, learning to like yourself is not as difficult as you may think. Once you pinpoint where you ‘feel’ your shortfalls are, you may see that they are not as bad as you feel they are.

When you live a life of low self esteem and don’t like yourself, it drains the energy out of you and prohibits you from moving forward. It squashed you confidence and doesn’t serve you sell or anybody else with whom you are associated.

It might be helpful to get the assistance of a coach or perhaps find a group of people with who you can talk this out with, perhaps somebody who harbors the same personal feelings. You could help and support each other to progress and lift one and other in the process!

A coaching session might be just the ticket and might be easier on you to speak to a neutral party. If this is the case contact me for a free session and lets see if we can’t get you past some personal obstacles.

Just remember, we all have issues so you are not as alone as you might feel. :-)

Know you are capable, worthy and have many talents that hopefully you will have recognized by going through the exercise.

Finally, be happy with you. Be grateful for the things you have, your capabilities, your personal power and even be happy with your “quirks”… we all have them and they shouldn’t be taken seriously as often they add character! You really are more perfect than you realize, often just the way you are!

Here’s a bit of a funky Song by Lady Ga Ga… not that she’s my ‘fave’ but it’s uplifting and might put a bounce in your step! (read the words…she’s on the right track…no pun intended!)

Life is short and you deserve to live it!

Since Happiness, fulfillment and advancement in life all comes from the inside and shines on the outside, learning to like yourself is critical for success and will help you seize the present moment and open the doors to help you move forward to achieve with confidence.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jym @ MLM Blog April 3, 2011 at 3:36 am

So important Jayne!

Even the most apparently confident among us have a corner of doubt somewhere, and unless it’s checked and somehow transmuted in can continue to subtly sabotage our lives, even when on the surface we appear to be doing fine.

Great that you’ve presented so many tips for dealing with this – my personal favorite is simply to forgive yourself, even if you’re not sure what for! I believe that in the eyes of existence (under any name) we are all worthy and forgiven right now – but we have to be open to that and allow it.

Thanks for sharing your compassion and understanding in this post!
All the best,


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