Is Your Self Image Holding You Captive?

by Jayne Kopp on April 3, 2011

self image

“You will never out perform your own self image!”

I was listening to John Assaraf yesterday and he told a story of the man who helped him get his life on track. The light bulb moment for John, was when his friend quoted the above words.

I though, ‘wow’… that is so true.

Have you every really thought about Self Image that way… and the way it can make you or break you?

Take a moment to think about those words for a second.

When I think about all the ways I have felt over the course of my life, I am convinced that my self image has either locked me into a rut, or opened the doors to move me forward.

There have been times in my life when I have not necessarily been my own best friend. I’ve felt low, and not particularly impressed by my performance on a couple of occasions.

When I’ve gone through this stage, I have often felt unworthy, energy-less and stuck. I’ve also seen no reason to lift a finger to improve the situation because I had temporarily convinced myself that they way things were…just were!

When I’ve had the sense to pull myself out of it, and re-evaluate things, I’ve been able to see the many possibilities that lie ahead.

During these ‘tweaking’ periods I’ve been forced to look at myself and see my value and personal strength and recognized many reasons to expand and explore many possibilities.

When you think about it… that’s the golden key! Seeing good points in ones self is what it’s all about and adds fuel to your fire.

If you feel unworthy, and have a negative self image you see no ‘reason’ to improve or even try to improve your situation.

When you feel good about yourself, you have a high self image and realize your capabilities and feel better about your right to opportunities.

There are many other examples too. I.e.: if you feel ‘weak’ or see yourself as being so… you will be! Why try to be strong if you’re convinced you are weak?

If you feel ugly…. It’ll show too. You won’t bother gussying up if you feel there’s no point it… right?

On the other hand if you feel strong… and attractive… you’ll act accordingly. You will also give off that vibration.

Bottom line is though that we should never underestimate the value of improving self image especially if it holds us back.

In my recent post on self worth, I told you of my friend who had held a long time position and was a key employee at her work place. I then explained the company hired a new recruit to ‘help’ but paid the new girl a higher starting salary than my friend was currently earning, despite the fact she had been working there for 8 years.

Even though my dear friend was hurt, she accepted it and told me that she must be getting paid for ‘what she was worth’ didn’t feel she had legitimate grounds to mention it or stand up for herself.

I found this very sad and realized that she felt this way due to her low self image and therefore didn’t want to rock the boat.

If she had a high regard for herself she would have thought “hey wait minute I’m definitely worth as much or more than my trainee” and would have had the confidence to share her feelings… or at least ask questions.

See the difference?

People who do well have a healthy and positive self image. They feel deserving and capable of achievement.

A person with a poor self image sees accepts an unfair situation as ‘what it is’ and decide to live with the status-quo because they don’t recognize their value, personal power or ability to create better circumstances.

In a nut shell, self image can either stifle you or free you. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, perhaps you need to look at improving your self image.

We all go through hills and valleys, so it’s important to pay attention to the way you see yourself.

Next time you’re feeling a little stagnant’ remember the words of John Assarf and his friend … “You will never outperform your own self image”

This is now one of my favourite quotes… it makes so much sense I think I’ll frame it!! :-)

Wouldn’t you agree?

How has your self image affected your life?

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Jayne Kopp April 4, 2011 at 9:06 pm

HI Marty, lovely to see you again… it’s been a while!

I can almost picture that Marty, even though I haven’t met you in person. I sense your inner confidence and can almost imagine that chain of events. Perhaps the silly (insert adjective) shall think twice next time, despite the number of frosty’s under his belt!!

I do believe that how you carry yourself counts for a lot. I have known people though who have not been comfortable with the way they look and not carried it well at all, in fact have actually let themselves go. Women for instance will hide behind a rats nest, or refrain from putting a little make-up on… you get my drift I’m sure.

Thanks for taking the time to add to this post.

SEe you soon.

Jayne

Reply

Ronnie "Hats" April 4, 2011 at 1:00 am

Hi Jane,

Great post! It is very true and many people don’t really see how Damaging this kind of thought process is. I am glad I popped in to read this one. It rings quite true indeed.

I lost almost two years of my life to depression from someone constantly putting me down and me believing her. It is still a constant battle everyday, but there is no way I will loose any more time I could spend on greatness, on defeat.

Do tell what happened with your friend. Did she speak up?

You rock, thanks for being here! That cloud thingy is cool! I could click on that thing forever and ever! lol

Reply

Jayne Kopp April 4, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Hi Ronnie, Its a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for taking the time to drop in on me.

Good for you for realizing the lost time due to someone who obviously was insensitive.

Its horrible how we can let the words of others scar us… often for life. I have been there and done that also.

Sensitive people like us really have to develop a thick skin and work at seeing our own self worth. It takes work and attention but eventually we do become better at it. Wouldn’t you agree?

I will keep you posted regarding my friend. I think things might come to a head before too long where she either won’t be able to stand it any longer or will do herself a favour and move on. If she does the latter it will definitely be the employers loss.

Thanks for your concern for her and pop back any time.

Best regards,

Jayne

Reply

Marty April 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm

I’ve been through those periods of low self esteem many times before. I think it is not how you look, but how you carry it. My visual image has evolved rapidly in the last year. The result of that is… more people notice me. A guy drinking at a bar yesterday drunkenly started off with a little criticism. I smiled back and treated it as a light hearted self depreciation of myself. He quickly changed his opinion, shook my hand. I think he got my quiet, confident authenticity. It was kind of “This is me and I’m ok about it”.
Good blog. Thanks

Reply

Jayne Kopp April 5, 2011 at 10:17 pm

HI Marty, lovely to see you again… it’s been a while! I did post this reply a couple of days ago, but replied to the wrong thread. (Im a bit dotty occasionally)….

I can almost picture that Marty, even though I haven’t met you in person. I sense your inner confidence and can almost imagine that chain of events. Perhaps the silly (insert adjective) shall think twice next time, despite the number of frosty’s under his belt!!

I do believe that how you carry yourself counts for a lot. I have known people though who have not been comfortable with the way they look and not carried it well at all, in fact have actually let themselves go. Women for instance will hide behind a rats nest, or refrain from putting a little make-up on… you get my drift I’m sure.

Thanks for taking the time to add to this post.

SEe you soon.

Jayne

Reply

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