Sit Down, Shut Up and Get a Grip

by Jayne Kopp on June 27, 2011

get a grip on life

Last week I decided to sit down and shut up and get a grip on life!

It seems I need to do this every six months or so and if you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you might remember I wrote a post on how to Slow Down to Go Faster back in January and shared back then how taking time out is good for the soul.

Admittedly, back then was a particularly difficult time for me, due to losing my beloved friend Dan the Man, but I do recall by allowing myself a few days to take time out and think things through, the result was amazing!

The thing is, I have been so busy lately with field trips for my children since the school has organized many outings due to the end of the school year, this coming Wednesday.

Although I’ve thoroughly enjoyed participating in all the children’s activities… (after all that is why I chose to be a work at home mom) – everything else seems to have piled up to the point of overwhelm.

I have had little time to focus on my blog posts and other marketing tasks and it’s really niggled at me and to be honest make me feel a little discouraged. You see I am a workaholic by trade :-) … I love to work at my business; I love to work around the house… I love to have LOTS of things to do.

The problem has been however that I have lost traction. I’m not a ‘super’ organized person by nature. I have to put a lot of effort in to almost everything I do. Every day I have a routine and it takes self discipline to follow it. My kids and my significant other are the same, so I exert a lot of energy into picking up after them and keeping the house as I like it.

With the impending summer break however, there have been many loose ends that have needed my attention, such as flying through the house life a crazed hornet cleaning corners, sorting closets, washing baseboards and all the weird things that people who are slightly OCD do when under pressure.

With all the projects I have in store for my business, and knowing how time flies I knew I had to get these other tormenting tasks out of the way quickly, otherwise they hang over me like a black cloud.

It got to the point that I felt like the description of the ‘woman brain’ in the video I posted on the Woman Brain Vs. Man Brain… so in order to prevent my brain from ‘shorting out’ and sparking I thought I had better take control of life, step back, sit down shut up and get a grip. (Sorry that was a mouthful!)

Once I forced myself to ‘chill out’ I recognized how thinking things through is so good for the soul. I was able to get very clear on my goals and make some adjustments; I used my new planner from my dear friend Heather Stephens and got very organized.

This last weekend my children were visiting their dad, John was getting our summer place ‘spoofed up’ in Harrison Hot Springs (where we will be spending a lot of time in our Rolling Turd … the Motor home :-) ) I had time to myself and was master of my own destiny. (It was awesome!)

I painted our outdoor furniture, cleaned the house like a crazed woman, helped a friend move, got some paper off my desk and strategically planned my new schedule for the summer holiday.

Though absolutely knackered… and almost feel like I need mouth to mouth and a full body massage (LOL) I also feel like a brand new woman with renewed ambition. This morning I felt like doing the mashed potato around the house singing “I Feel Good.. da da da da da dada” like James Brown on steroids!

My point to sharing all of this is that no matter who you are, or what you do, whether you are a stay at home mom, dad, operate on online business or work full time at a job … taking time just be quiet with your thoughts so you can actually think things through will help you get a grip.

I know it almost sounds counter productive, but its not and if you give it a whirl you will find renewed motivation so you can move forward, accomplish more and be more effective in the process!

Can you relate?? It’s great to be back by the way :-) … I look forward to hearing your comments!

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Charlotte July 12, 2011 at 2:06 am

Giving yourself a chance to have a little moment alone can help you have the chance to relax after sometime of hard work… Sometimes because of our busy schedules, we forget that we need time to relax. Be it alone or relaxing with friends. The purpose is to freshen up out minds and body. This way, getting back to hectic schedules will not be disdainful.

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Charlotte, you are right. A moment to relax is priceless. Just being alone with your thoughts so you can strategically plan things out is necessary in this fast paced world of ours. Thanks for stopping by!

Jayne

Reply

Adrienne July 8, 2011 at 11:41 am

Love your honesty Jayne!

I know from time to time I’ve had to take a step back and reevaluate what’s going on in my life as well. I think we get so caught up with everything that needs to be done right now that we aren’t seeing some of the other things that are being presented to us.

I’m a workaholic too online but that’s because I love what I do. But from time to time I need to take a breather which is why I try my best to stay off the computer over the weekend. I don’t always succeed but we all just need that time away.

Appreciate you sharing this with us and sounds like you have everything back on tract now. Enjoy the summer with your family.

Adrienne

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 9, 2011 at 1:10 am

Hi Adrienne, I always laugh (with pride) when you comment because I sense so many similarities.

We don’t often see what is right in front of us, in fact I wrote a post today on this very topic funnily enough.

I like you love what I do, and could, to be honest sit and work all day long, but as you say, we do need time away even if we think we don’t.

I am certainly hoping to get things (or keep things) on track. This year is the year I want to make it count.

Thanks for your well wishes. I hope you too enjoy your summer. We have lots of plans, so it will definitely be interesting to keep on top of everything when my ‘gaffers’ are off school.

see you soon

Jayne

Reply

Marty July 7, 2011 at 10:33 am

Jayne,
I really love your honesty. You tell it how it is and recognize the therapeutic benefit of speaking the truth. It is interesting how being relentlessly positive can have a negative effect on us from time to time. You seem to have the awareness of this matter and ultimately, you do something about it. i.e. sit down, shut up and get a grip. Your post made me smile. After a busy weekend having a celebratory barbeque at my house, a friend attended who didn’t really know anyone. Seeing him the other day, he laughed at the way I told him (because he was stood nervously looking as if he was waiting for a 59 bus!) to go grab a beer, something to eat, sit down and chill out!
Thanks for you assistance last week. After a lot of distractions in the last week, my book is now Kindle published and for sale. That may not have happened without your guidance and encouragement. Take care.

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 9, 2011 at 1:13 am

Hi Marty, how wonderful you stopped by and shared your incredible progress. I can’t get over it. what an wonderful display of time management.

Now I need to take the leaf out of your book.

I can imagine your friend hanging out like a fish out of water. I hope he took your advice and ‘chilled’ :-)

Looks like I have some catching up to do Marty. or should I call you ‘speedy’ instead?

I am glad I was able to encourage you, even though I didn’t do much. I am just pleased I could be your sounding board. One day I might be asking you to do the same! ;-)

best

Jayne

Reply

Peppy | The PeppyWrites Chronicles July 6, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Hello Jayne!

I really liked your article – and it makes a lot of sense … we all need to “sit down, shut up and get a grip” every now and then!

Because I haven’t had time to keep up with reading my favorite blogs lately – I’m working on changes – I feel “out of the loop”, so I made the time to check in here and see how you’re doing … and I find this article. Just what I needed!

I hope you are enjoying your summer, Jayne, and I am looking forward to any summer experiences you will be sharing with us!

Take care and I hope you’re doing well!

Peppy

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 9, 2011 at 1:16 am

Peppy, it’s so wonderful to see you on my blog as always.

I am quite looking forward to the summer with my kids to be honest and will be sure to keep you upto date with our adventures.

It’s been a little difficult to keep on top of things for me too. Where we have our motorhome is slightly remote so the WIFI is IFFY!! Quite frustrating at times when you can’t get online.

It kinda makes you surrender to relaxation! :-)

Keep me upto date too please. I will keep an eye on you too. Pinky promise!!

Jayne

Reply

Stacy July 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Hi Jayne!

I know how you feel, I’m not sure if it’s the beginning of the Summer or what but I have felt a bit ‘off’ regarding computer stuff lately. I want to be outside more. I have all kinds of ideas for non-computer things. Plus my dad is in the hospital and my ‘job’ has been hectic for the last month.

I was without internet for a day and a half last Friday and I ….loved it! Then I didn’t have time to catch up over the weekend, by the time Monday came around I wanted to avoid the thing because I knew I had so much catching up to do.

I re-fell in love with yoga, though I haven’t made time to do it again since then… I feel like I’m in a whirlwind. I published another kindle book but have done almost no promotion for it, aside from briefly mentioning it in one post.

Now here I am rambling on your blog. Gah. I need to listen to your advice!

Stacy

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 2, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Hey STacy, I love you to ramble on my blog. I think it’s the first time I’ve had the honor of getting you all riled up! I am / was the same way. Still some more sitting down and shutting up to be done, but I swear it makes a huge difference.

The whirlwind feeling is so familiar it’s scary. Lovely to here from you… cant wait to learn more about your kindle book. How on earth do you do it??????

talk soon

Reply

Mavis Nong | Free Marketing Training July 1, 2011 at 11:20 am

Hey Jayne! Welcome back, my friend! :)

I absolutely loved your post and I can so relate. This sums it all up: “taking time just be quiet with your thoughts so you can actually think things through will help you get a grip.”

I don’t do this very often and it’s something that I’m working on at the moment.

Tell me about the impending school holidays! :)

Have a great weekend, Jayne!

Mavis

Reply

Jayne Kopp July 9, 2011 at 1:18 am

Hi Mavis, I am sorry I unintentionally skipped over you. Boy I’m a bit scattered still even though I feel to be getting a grip!

You are so right when you said just taking time to be with our own thoughts. Isn’t it funny that this can be so difficult?

I guess you are in the same boat with your children at home too. I guess you will be getting up at 1am your time this summer?? :-)

Lovely to see you Mavis as always. I can’t wait to get caught up on all of your posts that I have seen whiz by my mailbox. :-)

boy I have a lot of reading to do!

Talk soon

Jayne

Reply

Steve Nicholas June 30, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Welcome back, Jayne! I know what you mean about taking some time off. I’ve had to do the same thing myself for a little while myself. I don’t know how much was writer’s block and how much was inertia, but it is definitely good to be back. I couldn’t agree with you more about the need to take breaks. This is why I always make sure that I don’t deal with business issues at all on Sundays. This way, I get the time to relax and refocus. When I don’t do this, I’ve noticed that everything suffers. We’ve missed you, but we’re glad to have you back!

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Hi Steve, thanks for your awesome comment. I have really missed you too, but I am glad I took the time to get a few things done and a few thoughts straight. Unfortunately I am not at the point ‘yet’ to take a full day off without doing something. It’s not necessarily a good thing, but I have this insatiable desire to try to stay organized. Coupled with an overactive mind (thanks to my Dad :-) – I have to really try to recognize my weaknesses and keep them in check, otherwise I have the tendency to really get worn out.

Nevertheless, I have found with taking this time to plan, its really helped my peace of mind.

Lovely to see you and I can’t wait to get caught up. I really miss my online ‘family’ when I’m stepping back.

Thanks Steve

Jayne

Reply

Lou Barba June 30, 2011 at 5:58 am

Hi Jayne,

You sound like you should be a school bus driver! Are you sure you didn’t hear that expression on the bus on one of the field trips you mentioned? :)

Aren’t all moms “work at home moms”? I have to tell my wife to punch out at night, and she doesn’t even have a blog. I’m not kidding. Maybe you two should join workaholics anonymous. :)

Lou Barba

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm

LOL Lou, I should be a bus driver. We don’t have many of them left up here what with cut-backs and all. That is why the teachers rely heavily on the parents who stay at home. There are not many of us unfortunately (for them that is) so those of us who are blessed to be able to participate always show up.

Your wife sounds like me… I go around the clock non stop. I have to really make myself take these breaks otherwise everything suffers.

Lovely to see you Lou.

Jayne

Reply

Jane | Blogging Tips June 30, 2011 at 2:29 am

Hi Jayne,

You have stroke the chord perfectly with me. Part of my last week and the rest of this week will be the same as yours. I will be doing some cleaning, helping and organizing. We have a family occasion. I am going to spend less time online.

And I will be singing the same tunes after that I hope. I can relate to your comment at my latest post and now I know what you mean.

BTW: I get a message that the Commentluv at this site is out of date and will soon stop to work. I am told by the bot to ask the webmaster (that is you), to upgrade it! I did :)

Cheers,
Jane.

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Jane, I recognized we were both on the same page this last week or so from reading your blog. You and I have the same thing going on. De cluttering and getting straight is really good for the soul.

I hope you are getting back on track too.

Thanks for the reminder re Comment Luv, I have done as you suggested and updated. Thanks so much.

see you soon

Jayne

Reply

Martin June 29, 2011 at 7:59 pm

I love this post Jayne.
You have such an energizing way of writing. Relaxing and enjoyable.

I can relate with your temperament in many ways, and I find that I also must take those seasons of “doing something else” in order to get the most done.

I find it is so important to have my regular quiet time every morning. I read my Bible, pray, read a couple of devotional type books, and spend some time in quiet before I open my computer.
I have found that if I open my computer first, my mind gets filled up so fast, and it is hard for my quiet time to have any benefit. But when I take the time for quietness before God, first thing in the morning, it is amazing how much better my day goes.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this post,
Martin Dale

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Hi Martin, thanks so much for the lovely and uplifting compliment. I really appreciate it.

I wish I were as balanced as you Martin and need to really take a leaf out of your book. I don’t sit down to have my ‘conversations’ I seem to talk all day long on and off in prayer and chatter.

I keep saying, “I’ll really have to sit down and have some quiet time with you…” I’m slipping in that department.

Perhaps I had better get my act together!! I’m trying… but maybe with that said, I need to prioritize.

Thanks for the suggestion so to speak or food for t hought.

Jayne

Reply

Jon June 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Jayne, it sounds like you have a good handle on the entire situation. You know where your strengths and weaknesses lie and you know what it’s going to take to maintain a balance.

You’re far ahead of the pack when it comes to this stuff, in my opinion. From what I’ve observed, people easily fall into the “keep plowing forward” routine without planning or awareness of what’s really happening.

Sometimes I find myself dropping everything I’m doing just to find clarity again and adjust course from there. Glad you’re back on track!

-Jon

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Hi Jon, thankfully I do recognize when enough is enough. I am diligently working on not letting myself get to ‘that point’… but with practice hopefully more perfection will come.

Yes I agree, it makes no sense to keep flogging a dead horse when you are exhausted. Plowing forward does no good when the horse is knackered.

Thanks for your great comment. Lovely to see you.

Reply

Oliver Tausend June 29, 2011 at 2:20 am

Hi Jayne,

thanks for sharing your insights, I love these kinds of posts from your desk because I can totally relate how it feels to lose traction…despite busy-ness or because of it.

In the past, I always managed to work so much that I didn’t like anymore what I did, but not because of the work itself but because I lost the balance.

I am learning to do what I do in the present moment without remorse. When I go swimming with my kids, I don’t want to feel bad because I don’t build my business and vice versa.

Happy summer to you and your family !

Take care

Oliver

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Hi Oliver, it sounds like you are achieving a lovely balance. I have noticed that from your posts.

I agree that we should avoid getting to the point where the enjoyment does not exist or where our work feels like work.

Thanks for stopping Oliver. Lovely to see you as always.

Jayne

Reply

Elmar Sandyck June 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Hi Jayne!

We missed you here! It’s so great to have you back. But I’m glad you took on that much-needed alone time to do all the things that needs to be done and have you here full of zest and energy to start the second half of the year with enthusiasm!

Looking forward to your posts hereon!

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Hello Elmar so lovely to see you and the rest of our community. I cannot wait to get caught up on reading all the goings on now.

I am heading up to Harrison Hot Springs, a resort destination about an hour or so from home.

I have been busy packing all day and doing errands, but once I get up there I want to take a day and read everybodies blogs till I am cross eyed.

Thanks for the great comment and I will see you soon.

Jayne

Reply

marquita herald June 28, 2011 at 11:28 am

Absolutely can relate Jayne – in fact last week I took 2 full days off from my never ending list of “to do’s” and revisited my goals, my “why” … where do I want to be in 3, 5, 10 years, etc. Funny thing is I ended up with only a few minor course corrections – but the important thing was (just like you) I felt excited and renewed again. It really helped to shut down for a while and just reaffirm I’m still heading in the right direction. Great article!

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:56 pm

HI Marty, I am pleased you were able to find time to address your list of things to do and more pleased you could find the quiet time to become even more clear on our goals. It is absolutely necessary isn’t it. I bet you feel wonderful as I do for taking the time to do so.

Lovely to see you Marty.

Jayne

Reply

Tisha June 28, 2011 at 9:07 am

Yes, I can relate Jane.

I am too a little bit OCD and workaholic. Last week I was having problems with my wordpress. At the moment I was frustrated and upset because I couldn’t get any work done, but at the same time it forced me to “sit down, shut up and get a grip.” I needed that break because I had so much going on.

At my full time job I had to get 20 evaluations get done on my staff. Get my son ready for graduation, he is starting 9th grade this September and a lot of other things. Yeah, this has been a crazy month for me, but I made it in one piece. :-)

Tisha

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 10:58 pm

HI Tisha, you certainly have been busy… and bugged by the sounds of it with your WP challenges. Are they not enough to put you over the edge when you are so busy.

My hat definitely comes off to you for being able to maintain a full time job and overlook a good sized staff. My goodness girl. Then with your son growing up before your eyes, I will bet you have to slow down once in a while to catch your breath.

I am so pleased you made it in once piece. :-)

Lovely to see you. Thanks for commenting as usual.

Jayne

Reply

Melody | Deliberate Receiving June 28, 2011 at 4:58 am

Hi Jayne,
Former workaholic here, and still keeping the tendencies in check. I find that I still feel a bit guilty if I want to take the day off, but I’m getting better. The thing is, I’ve proven to myself on several occasions that the downtime actually ends up making me more productive in the long run. I have more energy, I have better ideas and solve problems more easily. That realization helps a lot.

Thanks for the great post.
Hugs,
Melody

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Hi Melody, I am pleased you are able to achieve that balance and I am sure it has taken much practice. I too feel the ‘guilt’ but I also know that taking the time to think is a necessary evil.

With my kids off now… it’s going to be a bit of a haul as we do so much together… and I DO love every minute… but there will not be much quiet time this summer. LOL. They are both chatterboxes too and enjoy spending time with me, so my new schedule has to be in bed early up with the birds before my bambinos… otherwise I’m toast!!!

Lovely to see you Melody, I am looking forward to getting around to a few blogs and doing some reading. We are taking off to our Motorhome this weekend so I am hoping I can ‘chill’ by the pool while my kids swim and take the time to see what’s been cooking in your world! :-)

Thanks for coming by Melody. I really appreciate seeing you and I’m looking forward to learning more about you and from you in the future.

Jayne

Reply

Justin | Mazzastick June 27, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Hi Jayne,
You are right on the money with your observations about ourselves and life. I am also a doer but need chill-out time myself and this does the perfect job of re-charging my mind and body.

It’s hard for us doers but keeping our being balanced actually will create better and quicker results for us. And yes, it means some discipline. :)

Reply

Jayne Kopp June 30, 2011 at 11:04 pm

HI Justin, so well said… about it being a challenge for us ‘doers’ to slow down, but it’s been proven over and over that it sure does work doesn’t it?

Discipline to slow down is funny for some people… often it’s the opposite,… but I am so glad I am not alone. By the sounds of it, there are a few of us in our community!

Lovely to see you Justin I always appreciate you taking the time to stop by.

Jayne

Reply

Heather Stephens June 27, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Hi Jayne!

Awesome for you. I’m blown away by how ‘out of balance’ I can get in my life from time to time. Being a workaholic isn’t a good thing, but it’s so easy to fall into that trap with the multitude of things building a home based business requires.

I’ve been working to regain my work/life balance and I’ve got some good examples surrounding me now that I’m also writing for Fat Wallet.

Can’t wait to talk soon. Loved your post as always!

Heather

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: