Have you ever gone through a stage in life where you’ve lost track of the real you? Lately I know I’m just not in my game the way I’m meant to me and to be honest have felt these last few months to be living some sort of charade.
The problem is, I’ve come unglued, unfocused and have been wondering lately where the real me got to.
It’s frustrating, because to be quite frank as I’ve traveled a number of amazing paths during my lifetime and even more so these last few years and learned an awful lot, met and worked with some incredibly inspiring people.
Of course there have been times I have gained ground in leaps and bounds and really knocked it out of the park and other times I’ve slipped and allowed some goals to fall completely off the radar. Lately however, I really feel to have sucked the big enchilada and simply stagnated!
Not only haven’t I acted on all of my goals in the way that I could, haven’t been out there as much as I should… I’ve gotten hung up on a few things I’m not sure how to ‘do’.
The result is my time management has flown out of the window, my focus and positive mindset has in some ways dwindled down the loo a bit and to be honest, there are some days that I’m nothing more than ‘blank.”
I have felt to allow my shortfalls to get the better of me and I just haven’t known where to focus my efforts. On top of all of that… even my blog Alexa ranking has skyrocketed from slightly under 100 to 280+K… which those of us in the online world know that in this case more is NOT better.
To add insult to injury, there have been days I’ve dreaded coming over to “tickle my blog” with pink and frilly topics, mostly bursting with positivity and motivation, particularly when feeling somewhat opposite to the ‘shite’ eating grin on my header… (Above)… which incidentally due an overhaul in the not too distant future.
SO What’s the deal with the ‘real me’ and what’s changed?
Well I do have some ideas (thankfully) in fact they’re more than ideas; I’m pretty sure they’re bang on.
First of all, I’m human, and we all have ‘things’ that clog our energy flow from time to time. There are some things I’ve carried around that have become heavy and need to be ‘put down’ to lighten the load. All of these roadblocks are things I’m revved up to tackle… and I have set my intentions to make changes effective immediately.
Another thing that’s ‘bothered’ me a bit lately (well there’s actually two things..) is that I spoke to a lady who said “she wished she could be more like me… having it all together… as she felt she never would”. I almost had to look behind me to see if there was anyone standing there who she may have been talking to instead.
Then… another acquaintance / come friend told me she felt like “the universe just tossed her a huge ball of awesomeness bringing me into her life”. How lovely is that?
Well… as much as a compliment and boost to my ego these ‘beautiful statements’ are… they have also caused me to feel a huge surge of guilt.
You see, even though I am positive… and I do have a great work ethic… and I do have motivation for the most part and admittedly I’m fairly busy… lately I sure haven’t felt to be living up to my own standards.
I mean, I’ve never though I am “the great I AM”… far from it… but lately if truth be told I’ve been the ‘great I’m not”…
I am only human just like everyone else and even though I can still empower others… and get all revved up helping people lay their foundations in various aspects of life… when it comes to me… I’ve just ran out of “energizer bunny rambunctious ness”.
The thing is…I do realize it’s just a ‘stage’… and I’m certainly not going to beat myself up and throw in the towel or anything stupid like that. This just goes to show you that no matter what ‘industry’ or ‘profession you’re in (mine being an empowerment coach) proves that we all run out of steam occasionally and have to regroup.
Despite the lovely compliments above… the truth is, I’m made out of the same stuff as any other human; if I get cut, I bleed, if stub my toe, I say ouch… and none of us ‘trump’ in baby powder scent!
The only thing that sets me apart from some of the people I coach is that I started pumping up the volume and got my business under way four years ago and definitely know a thing or two about a thing or two, perhaps a little more than they might at this stage of the game.
With all of this said and off my chest… I’m ready to re launch the real me again… I’ve missed her to be honest… so I thought I’d share a few things I’ve done to renew and re-vamp.
The other day I looked in the mirror. (As scary as that may sound). I literally said “self… it’s time to make changes and get this show back on the road”…
I realized I hadn’t been following my advice lately nearly as much as I’d been dishing it out.
I’ve also been focusing on the ‘wrong’ things too. Things that keep me ‘still’ instead of getting out there and shaking my booty… like we all should regardless of what we are aiming to achieve.
I decided to get my bottom anchored firmly on my chair… at my desk in order to regroup and reflect on why I do what I do in the first place.
The answer is … to earn a comfortable living from home so I can control my destiny and enjoy the blessing of raising happy, confident kids and live a more fulfilled life with my children.
That’s really the bottom line… Sounds pretty simple really… and it is. Nothing frilly, nothing outlandish… certainly nothing that can’t continue.
Here’s the deal though.
I have taken on a few too many things and even though they’re all important pieces of the ‘Jayne journey’ I do have too many irons in the fire, hence have become scattered and less focused.
I picked up my pencil. (You know… those skinny yellow things with lead and I also pulled out my pad of paper… with lines ). In other words… I didn’t type into a Word Doc… as writing is really waaaay more effective!
*First of all I listed all the tasks I MUST complete… and planned a few next steps.
**I then analyzed where I currently spend my time and discovered that apart from going around in circles, it seems that although I have built up a decent (ish) clientele… I have also been attracting the ‘wrong’ folks… and lots of ‘em!!
I have spent an incredible amount of time with people who ‘claim’ they want to make changes… like to shoot the breeze, play a violin, cry… whine and complain… but truthfully have no intentions of actually doing anything about it. To tell you the truth it sometimes feels like I’m flogging a dead horse!
That… is coming to an end… clients or no clients. I can no longer afford to spend time stroking people who don’t want to ‘make things happen’ it wastes time… mine and theirs, not to mention drains my energy and pulls me down a bit too.
I have enough clients who are action takers… and those are the ones that lift my spirits so I’m definitely being more selective when it comes to choosing who I work with.
***I then made a list of the things I want to do… but don’t know how to.
I’ve often said I’m a bit of a technophobe… and I am. Instead of hitting the challenges head on, I’ve allowed myself to drag my feet on the things I need to get a handle on.
Not anymore… I’m getting out there to find the help… and will even ask some of my online friends for assistance. (So fasten your seat belt if you’re part of the posse who’s bailed me out before… just a warning!) .
I have also decided to alter some of my marketing strategies. . Not only am I exercising some new marketing techniques… some that I’ve used in the past with decent results… but I have also examined the benefits of exposing my business locally in addition to online.
I have recently realized just how many people right in my own back yard need the type of help I provide yet I mostly work wit h people abroad on Skype! I know it sounds funny really… but it’s amazing how many customers we have in our own neck of the woods, yet we overlook that market share … daily.
Since talking with a few people close to home, I decided to launch a Womens’ Empowerment group in my home town along side of the owner of a local spa catering to mostly women. A friend of mine is also very empowering and has a lot to add… so it really feels nice to work with people I know ‘personally’.
I also met another fellow who runs a successful business and we are in the midst of organizing a new monthly Mastermind group for folks who currently market existing businesses.
Although there are still a couple of details to iron out on both of these fronts… we are getting these off the ground in March come hell or high water!!
Phew getting this off my chest just feels good… and I already feel to be back on the path the finding the real me again!
It’s amazing what making a firm decision or two can do for your well being… and I’d highly recommend self analysis if you feel to be a little off kilter.
Here are a few suggestions if you feel you’ve lost focus and need to get a grip on the real you again:
First or all, don’t worry about it… know you’re human and don’t take yourself too seriously! Certainly don’t let a little slump put you off.
Then: Revisit your BIG why. Getting clear on ‘why’ you do the things you do. This incidentally doesn’t matter if your goal is to get in shape, lose weight, get organized or improve your outlook. Just get IT straight and you’ll find everything will start to feel more worthwhile.
Make a list of the specific actions you need to take. This includes easy to do and the things that stall you.
Tackle the tasks you can do by yourself and then figure out a way to resolve the ones that pose challenges. Always… always ask for help if you need to as it will save you so much time. (Take it from me…)
Create a schedule, taking time out and then comitting to focus on one thing at a time… or at least set aside certain times of the day to work on separate things. Don’t cross paths and jump from one to the other as I have lately. It doesn’t work.
Pat yourself of the back and acknowledge your personal power… then continue to keep moving and take massive action!
So why did I write this post about finding the real me?
I wrote this post to come clean and get things off my chest because I know for a fact there are so many people silently struggling with feeling stuck in a rut and not wanting to ‘say’ anything for fear of looking not so on top of things.
My take on this is that it’s often a natural transition and can even be called “growth”… and even if you don’t buy into the ‘growth’ aspect… I do believe everything can be an opportunity for improvement.
Everyone goes through stages. Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down… and getting stuck is normal.
Making a fresh slate and sorting things out is a great way to set yourself straight again so you can stop pretending to have the world by the balls… when sometimes the balls have you instead. (Scuse the phrase… it just works!)
I have also found that getting ‘out’ and networking is really refreshing. If you’re anything like me and work solely from home… even though I may have personal contact… it’s rarely ‘in person’ contact where I can ‘reach out and touch someone”… it really is a nice change.
Re connecting with the real me has also made me realize I still have some pretty steep hills to climb… but by publicly announcing it in some ways helps me stay accountable as well as I have found a few people have shared their own feelings of frustration and make their own changes along with me.
This has caused me to consider starting a forum or group where we an all share advice and help each other with challenges pertaining to various areas of life or business.
What do you think??
You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want… but the bottom line is… I know for myself it’s time to shed the “fuzzy pink blankey” and start making some more meaningful tracks and doing a few things that are perhaps a little scary! After all that’s what I preach to my clients.
In the past I’ve always done whatever I have set my mind to doing… I think it’s time I reached down and caused history to repeat itself even though I might be at a different stage in my personal endeavours.
We all have the power to achieve any amount of success if we truly want to and if you’ve feel to have lost your momentum… or the real you as I felt to have lost the real me… (Regardless as to what you may be working on or facing) the only way to tackle it is to get a grip, get organized, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and take massive action.
This year is the year I plan to make huge changes and take great strides… no more pussyfooting for this chickadee… all I get out of that is cat shaped feet… and they’re just useless for a big girl like me!
What are your thoughts?