I’ve done a lot of talking lately on how to be happy with yourself; not necessarily on this blog but while out with friends, during casual conversations, etc., and was amazed to learn how many of us rarely put ourselves at the top of our own lists.
I mean, think about it! Do you put YOU first in anything?
I have to be right up front with you and admit I never put me first… ever… and whilst I will always do everything in the best interest of my children… (They are my BIG why after all)… I know that sometimes… well “often” really I may not always do the best job of being completely focused on them because I’ve been busy thinking about other things that concern me.
I don’t always come clean, but like everyone I have my own unique set of circumstances that can become heavy after a while. I’m not playing my own violin (I’ve said this before) but the last few years has been nothing more than “challenging”.
In a funny sort of way… I’m totally OK with it. The challenges have helped me grow into someone completely different to who I was in my old life. These last few years since starting my business and diverting into my coaching career the experiences have taken me down the most unbelievable paths and taught me to truly focus on the positives and grow in ways I never thought possible.
Despite the awesomeness of it all… which I know is all for a reason by the way, … I still have shreds of discontentment that I tend to put on the back burner and if truth be told have ignored them for a very long time. That is until these last few weeks.
You see, since being in this wonderful world of internet marketing and being so absorbed in personal development, my conversations are much different these days than the way they would have been a few years ago.
Never before would I have taken the time to see beyond people’s exterior and have the insight to pick up on bits and pieces of things said…or to have the insight to see into the souls of others the way I can these days.
I may have never opened up and shared my feelings either, at least not the way I do these days, in fact on second thoughts, I may have never even “paid attention” to things that may have needed attention in the first place.
A few months ago, quite unexpectedly I met a lady with whom I have grown a fond connection. She is completely different than my other ‘friends’ in the way that she is a little off the wall, loud, crazy fun … and at the same time she is VERY wise.
She has certainly had her challenges in more ways than one but has managed to get a grip on life to the point where she does her best to live in and enjoy the moment.
Last week we were talking about being “authentic”. In other words: Are we (or most people) as happy and contented on the inside as we are on the outside.
If not… what’s the issue?
(Most people are not by the way… but I digress)
I can only surmise that perhaps she sensed something from “me” that many people do not.
If truth be told, although I am happy, I am incredibly grateful, I do look at the positive; I am very intuitive and can see solutions for others…but the funny thing is, I often can’t or don’t pay attention to what’s best for me.
This is not unusual, as many of us don’t look at our own issues. Instead we more often than not tend to brush them off, but when it boils right down to it… it’s not right.
What I’m trying to say is I truly believe that we should all put ourselves first in life no matter what… and as selfish as this may seem… It’s not.
By putting yourself first, means you are looking after not only your own emotional well being, but also your health.
When you feel emotionally balanced you have much greater energy to put into anything you do in life and as a result you always do the best job possible rather than only doing things ‘half-well’.
When you put yourself first and know how to be happy with yourself, this resonates in an authentic way and you exude greater positivity which benefits everyone around you.
What I’m trying to make clear is that if there is something you have “thought about” or always wanted to do… yet you haven’t … or if there’s something you wish you could do, but for some reason don’t think you can… ask yourself “why?” or “why not?”
I believe we can (and should) do ANYTHING we want. …Really!! (I do!)
The fact is we only have THIS MINUTE. Life is fragile and can be snatched away in the blink of an eye. Then what?
I don’t know about you… but if I croaked tomorrow… I’d be as mad as a wasp that I missed opportunities or prevented myself from being kind to myself…. I’d much rather pop-off with no regrets!
Believe me… there have been times when I’ve thought… hmmm… so I guess this is “it” for me then….. and lately I’ve just thought
screw to heck with that!
So anyway.. my point is…DON’T wait till tomorrow, tomorrow may never come. I’m not trying to be morbid… rather I’m being realistic.
- If you wish you could take more time out to go to the spa… do it!
- If you wish you could learn to earn more money by starting a business or trying something new… DO IT.
- If you want to travel more… figure out how to make it happen!
If you are in a relationship that isn’t making you happy and you wish you could do something to make it better… DO IT… or end it.
Furthermore, if you want to do things for YOU and they are harmless and fulfilling… GO FOR IT.
You only have one life so you should put yourself first.
You also need to embrace that what you want needs no apology. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some YOU time to fulfill your desires in any way you see fit … and if others can’t or don’t “get it”… bugger them! Seriously!! (This caring about what others think will be discussed in the next post).
If you truly want to live an authentic life, you have to stop preventing yourself from doing so… and as difficult as you might ‘think’ it will be to make time or allow yourself the well deserved space to do it, it rarely is.
I say, if there is a will there is a way… so get busy, take control of life and make it happen to you.
Put yourself in your own drivers’ seat for once… hell… if you’re not willing to nobody else will do it for you!
What’s at stake?
You go through this gift of life ‘wishing’ shoulda, woulda, coulda but didn’t… for the rest of it??
I don’t think so!
Get on with it! Learn how to be happy with yourself! Search your soul for the things you really would like to do… or things you would have done if you could live your life over!
In other words…Be kind to yourself and put yourself first. I guarantee, YOU and everyone else around you will benefit because you have.