Do You Follow Your Heart or Worry About What Others Think Instead?

by Jayne Kopp on April 10, 2012

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Oliver Tausend April 24, 2012 at 6:15 am

Hi Jayne,

great post. So true, many people worry about what others think. In fact, they’re worrying about what they might think because it all happens in our mind anyway, doesn’t it ?

The problem is that many people are caught in a battle between their own true identity and the identity that is not theirs, but they acquired this identity through the influence of others throughout their lives. When someone decides intellectually to live according to his true reality, he’s most likely not prepared emotionally to follow through with it because he can count on accusations from his environment, such as kind reminders of “responsibility” and “selfishness”, to only name two. When these follow suit, they’re not all mentally prepared to stand these.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

Cheers

Oliver
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Ben April 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I agree Jayne, and I think that letting go of what others think is one of the most important changes we can make!

One thing i’ve always hated is people who are meant to care about me try to bring me down when i’m making changes or doing something that I want to do. I’ve learnt to use this as for further growth by allowing myself to explore what this is triggering inside me, afterall it isn’t the fact they are saying this stuff to me, it is how I am reacting to it, if I let go of the emotions around it and let go of caring about it, I can just keep moving on. And that is exactly what I have been doing.

As for online businesses, most people can’t identify, when I mention it to people I know they usually go silent and don’t say much about it, but I don’t care anymore, as i’m going to continue doing this!

-Ben
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Jayne Kopp April 16, 2012 at 11:01 am

HI Ben, you hit the nail on the head… it really is how we react. We can choose to pay attention or simply release.

As far as people not understanding your business… that’s a perfect scenario… and one that’s common. You see, MOST people don’t get it… and if they are not silent (which you say many people are) … they often want to give their two bits anyway… and often it’s not what we want to hear because they are not knowledgeable in the first place.

I’m glad you choose to focus on personal triggers rather than the thoughts of others. At lease you have the comfort of knowing you’ll never hold yourself back~! :-)

Lovely to see you Ben.

Jayne

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Stacy April 13, 2012 at 7:24 am

Hi Jayne,

This is a fantastic post – I think that you already know that I am in full agreement with you!

When I was a young adult I was practically paralyzed with fear of what other people thought in so many ways. I grew up always hearing, “You can’t do xyz – what will people THINK??” As a teen I rebelled against that by dressing the exact opposite of the styles that were so popular. Everyone was wearing the Nirvana grunge and I was wearing neon pinks, greens, and such. But as a young adult it had set into my mindset somehow.

Now I’m in my 30s and happy to not be hindered by the thought of “what will people think??” because I don’t really care. Now the job is to figure out what *I* think and what *I* want. I just wrote a post about rediscovering dreams, I hope you check it out! :)

Stacy
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Jayne Kopp April 16, 2012 at 11:03 am

HI Stacy, that’s so good to hear. Thanks also for your kind words.

That really is the bottom line … caring about what you think… because if you can think ‘it’ and it’s important to YOU… then you can make it happen.

It’s all about moving forward in the direction of your dreams and getting rid of the fluff that clogs our energy.

You’ll do great… I’m off to read your post!

Jayne

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Madonna April 11, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Hi Jayne,

Very profound. Such words of wisdom. I love the reframe with Bob. MLM has such a stigma attached to it. Just read a very inflammatory post on my newsfeed about constantly being asked to look at MLM opportunities. Then half a dozen others joined in and agreed. if I were in MLM, this would make me feel even worse.

You hit the nail right on the head (I hate cliches) when you said that confidence and self esteem was at the heart of the problem. I teach network marketers how to move beyond this and it is is the biggest reason for failure in the industry.

Thanks for a great post. Have tweeted and will repost.

Madonna
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Jayne Kopp April 16, 2012 at 11:08 am

Thanks so much for adding to this conversation Madonna. I appreciate you taking the time.

I know what you mean about when people get on the band wagon giving their own two bits about opportunities. I have to agree that if I were in MLM it would put me off too.

I am not in MLM… I do coaching as you do… but I do enjoy a direct sales business in conjunction. I used to read all the reviews and updates on the business I enjoy and it really was enough to put me off (If I were willing to let it all sink in).

The bottom line is you can build a business selling paperclips if you want… it’s all about what you are willing to do with opportunities that counts. It’s about personal power and personal belief.

I’m glad we are not all created the same as that would make for a very boring world… but it’s also important to go with our own feelings and have enough faith in ‘us’ to move forward and make things happen.

I pretty much do what you do… help people put blinders on and move onwards and upwards. It’s amazing the results I’ve seen.

Thanks so much again Madonna. Lovely to see you.

Jayne

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Adrienne April 11, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Wonderful post Jayne and it’s so very true.

I stopped caring what other people think of me a long time ago. But my mentor and I were having a conversation and he said I was doing exactly that. I still honestly think he was wrong.

I believe my problem lies in maybe posturing myself more so that I have more confidence with what I intend to share. Deep down I don’t care what they think of me honestly but maybe I just don’t come across as take charge as I would hope that I am. That I am most definitely guilty of so to me there is a difference but then again, maybe I’m wrong.

I know that a lot of us are people pleasers so it’s hard to break that cycle. I had someone in my life like that a very long time ago and that person could not make their own decisions to save their souls. They also ended up living a very miserable life because of it too.

I hope that others will read this post and take charge of what they truly want Jayne and then take 100% responsibility for whichever direction it takes.

Wonderful post and thank you for sharing it. Hope you’re enjoying your week.

~Adrienne
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Jayne Kopp April 16, 2012 at 11:17 am

Thanks so much Adrienne. Did your mentor tell you ‘why’ he/she thought you were ‘caring’ too much?

Sometimes we have to get a little more daring and posture ourselves… or perhaps have a stronger call to action… one that is a little more persuasive than we might feel we ought.

I have noticed by stepping outside that comfort zone… the results have definitely paid off… but it was a bit of a stretch at first.

Lovely to see you Adrienne.

Best

Jayne

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Ilka Flood April 11, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Hi Jayne,

Excellent post, as usual! I used to care what others thought, neighbors, friends, family, etc. until I realized how stupid that really is. Think about it….WHO is paying your bills?

Besides…“We’d care less about what others think about us if we realized how seldom they do.”

I’m going full steam ahead.

Thanks for your wonderful insights!

Ilka
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Cathy Miller April 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Jayne: One of the best things about getting older (for me) is you don’t care about what others think when you really want to do something. Sure I welcome feedback from those I love and trust, but ultimately, it’s my decision.

I left 30+years in corporate during the height of the recession to start my own business. Believe me, there were PLENTY of naysayers.

And tell your friend who wants to do the marathon that I am going for my 9th 3-Day, 60-Mile Walk for the Cure. I celebrated the 60 miles last year along with my 60th birthday.

My 3-Day motto could be a life motto – Walk on. :-)
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Roy A. Ackerman, Ph.D., E.A. April 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Great post, Jayne!
And, yes, we seem to have raised a generation of lemmings. And, given that fact, without a change in attitude and bearing, they are destined to fail in those endeavors that require one to stick one’s neck forward…
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